The Parent Dilemma

So, I’ve left my job.

Not my fun, happy-go-lucky, part-time job. But my “I’m attempting to conform to your adult rules and expectations” job.

It was a tough decision, and one I definitely did not take lightly. It broke my heart to leave, but with everything else on my plate right now, it was just too much.

I’ve been searching for some validation that I did the right thing, but unfortunately it’s yet to come. I mean, it has come from myself – my stress has reduced, I’m not crying on a daily basis, and I’m able to exercise and do my homework again. It just hasn’t come from those people whose opinions I value the most – my parents.

Being 22 is strange. You expect to finally feel like an adult. You are prepared to make your own decisions and do things independently. You crave varied life experiences that will introduce to the world outside of school and home.

But you find yourself back in school, back at home, and reluctantly back under the watchful eye of your parents. You struggle to reconcile your newfound independence (hot off of 4 years of DORM LIFE) with the expectations and beliefs of the people who raised you. You want to feel like a true member of society, but have a constant reminder of your inability to step out on your own.

I’m fortunate in that my parents allow me to make my own decisions while living under their roof.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t hear their opinions, though. And that doesn’t mean that I don’t hold those opinions in the highest regard.

It’s frustrating to have the power to do something, but to lack the courage to do so.

I’ve allowed this fear of failure and disapproval to rule my life. Quitting my job my first big decision I made without fear. And it’s one that I’m still ruminating on.

The result is undetermined, but I’m hopeful.

-B

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I know, I’m awful at updating…

but I blame the fact that I work 4 days out of every week out of town. This will hopefully change, as I am now stationed in one place until at least November/December.

Nothing terribly exciting has happened in my life, but I’m planning to make a few posts about the following things over the next few days:

  • My religion/connection to my religion/views on my religion (this has been a big point of discussion in my family the past week, and this discussion hasn’t always been pretty)
  • My school plans for the fall and beyond (I’ve finally made my mind up on something, but this something may take some time)
  • What I want to do with my life vs. What I think my parents want me to do with my life (aka, ever 20-something’s dilemma)
  • What this summer has been about (the good, the bad, and the ugly).

I will hopefully have some pictures and deep thoughts. I hope you all have stuck with me.

 

Preface

Hello.

My name is Brittany, and this here is my brand-spankin’-new blog. I’ve been using tumblr for quite some time, but I’ve recently been doing some thinking and writing that I feel is best shared on a different kind of blogging platform.

After some thought and consideration, I’ve decided to name my blog “The Tremendous and Terrible Twenties.” I wanted to choose a title that would be to the point, but that wouldn’t overdo it, and I sincerely hope I have succeeded. After all, I’ve been told that a title can make or break you.

Please, allow me to introduce myself.

I’m a 21 (almost 22) year-old, recent college graduate, assistant pre-school teacher, and movie theater employee.

I know, I’m a bit all-over-the-place.

Since graduating college in December, I’ve really been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.  After 3.5 years, I earned a B.S. in Psychology. I’ve considered doctoral programs in clinical psychology, counseling psychology, and speech pathology. After months of researching, I think I’ve finally landed on a profession, but the months of uncertainty have taken a toll on my confidence. I’m hesitant to reveal my current career plans – only because I fear I’ll change my mind and people will judge me on any and all decisions I make.

Now, I understand that the whole purpose of this blog is to be more open with people (both those I know, and those I don’t know), but please know that this will take some time. I’ve never been one to share my sorrows/troubles/problems with others.

I plan to post an array of things on this blog, and I apologize in advance for the lack of a “theme” or “plan.” I will be posting stories of the past and present, as well as some small works of fiction I’ve been working on for the past year (that is, if you would like to read them). I’ve been writing some personal anecdotes (mostly comedic in nature), and really hope to use this blog as a platform for feedback.

Well, I think that’s about it.

Until next time,

– B